We are in charge of our lives, so we must own that reality and take responsibility for it. Too often we hear, “it’s not my fault,” or “I am not responsible.” The reality is opposite. Yes it is and yes you are.
Sure there will always be things that are out of our direct control. For example, the actions or reactions of others. We cannot control that. However, we can control our actions and how we respond. We also can control how we care for others and the world around us.
Taking responsibility is all part of growing up. Reaching adulthood just means by some stroke of luck you have survived for at least the first 18 years of your life. Age is not a marker of emotional intelligence or personal growth. I know a number of adults who act like toddlers and similarly a number of adolescents that could teach college courses in humanity, philosophy, and religion and are what society often labels as “born leaders.” These “born leaders” do not have some preternatural trait or DNA strand for leadership, they somewhere along the lines (often from a familial mentor) quickly learned to take responsibility. That’s what triggered growth and why they seem so “grown up.”
Even at 45, I’m still growing up. I hope I’m the same at 85. Life is full of learning opportunities and chances to stretch and expand our heart, mind, and soul. Age and maturity is not a destination, it’s just a marker on the timeline of our lives. We have the opportunity to grow continuously until the very end. Life does not need to be like a good story arc with a climax and then downward recession to a conclusion. If we are doing things right and maximizing this gift of life we’ve been given, we should be peaking at the moment we take our last breath. However, one cannot do that without taking responsibility.
When life feels heavy and a burden, we lament, “can’t we just get a break?” It’s then that we often wax nostalgic about simpler times gone by when we were children, or in high school or college. As Bryan Adams sings in his epic classic rock ballad “Summer of ‘69”, for many of us we view these as “the best times of our lives.”
Truth is that those times were only simpler and seemingly “the best” because someone else was responsible for us. Those times have changed, of course, and now we have arrived at the epicenter of responsibility. For ourselves and for many of us, we are responsible for our spouses, children, and aging parents. Others also have teammates, employees, clients, patients, or constituents. That is all before the macro responsibilities that we have to our neighbors, communities, country, and world.
It can be overwhelming at times (I feel like I need a break just thinking about it). It’s at these times that we should fight the urge to daydream about the past or complain about the present, or look to someone else to do our jobs. Instead, it’s time to double-down on taking responsbility.
No longer is it “none of my business,” or “not my deal.” Shed the notion that “they’ll figure it out on their own” or “it will all work out.” Yes it is, no they won’t really, and it won’t work out if you don’t care to do anything about it. Does one throw a baby into a pool and hope they will “figure it out on their own” and learn to swim. Of course not. Responsible parents, family, and friends protect young children from danger the best they can.
This month we celebrate the independence of our country, which was founded on this notion of taking responsibility for one’s life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. The great Statue of Liberty does not point her finger. Instead, she raises her hand up holding her torch as if to say “I will do it, I got you, I will light the way.”
So let’s be inspired by this model, especially concerning the hardships we face in our lives. Let’s not shirk from responsibility and just hope things turn out well or point the finger at someone else to do it. Wishing only leads to withering and abdication to ashes. Let’s take responsibility for the outcomes we want and others deserve. Let’s raise our hand to volunteer to serve others, get more involved in our lives and our communities, and take action.
Be the light you wish to see in others and the world around you.
