Planning for the ‘In-Between’: When a Loved One Is Declining but Not Gone

Estate planning is often thought of in two stages: while you’re alive and healthy, and after you’re gone. But there’s a critical—and often overlooked—phase in between: when a loved one is alive but experiencing declining health, capacity, or independence.

This “in-between” time can last for months or even years, and it’s when families are often faced with the toughest decisions, the most stress, and the greatest risk of legal and financial confusion. Here’s how smart estate planning can make all the difference.

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1. When Capacity Fades Gradually

Many illnesses—like dementia, Parkinson’s, or even the long-term effects of a stroke—don’t cause a sudden loss of decision-making ability. Instead, capacity fades gradually. That gray area can be confusing: your loved one may still seem mostly “themselves,” but they may not be capable of fully managing their finances or understanding legal documents.

Without clearly named and properly authorized agents (via a Durable Power of Attorney and Advance Health Care Directive), your family may find themselves unable to act when help is needed most—or forced into conservatorship proceedings just to pay bills or get medical updates.

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2. Avoiding Conservatorship (If You Plan Early Enough)

Conservatorship is a court-supervised process where someone is appointed to manage another person’s finances or care. It can be expensive, intrusive, and slow-moving. But it’s also entirely preventable—if you plan ahead.

Proactive estate planning allows your loved one to name the people they trust to manage their affairs, without court involvement. But once capacity is lost, those choices may no longer be available.

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3. The Legal Documents Are Only Half the Battle

Even with documents in place, many families don’t realize they need to put them into action. Financial institutions may require extra verification. Doctors may not have updated HIPAA authorizations. And if your loved one’s trust isn’t properly funded (i.e., their assets aren’t actually titled in the name of the trust), your authority may be limited.

That’s why periodic reviews and trust funding checkups are so important—especially as a loved one’s health begins to decline.

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4. Caregiving and Family Dynamics

Declining health often brings a shift in family roles—one child becomes the caregiver, another handles finances, and tensions can rise. A well-drafted estate plan can help clarify roles, reduce resentment, and outline how decisions should be made as a team.

In some cases, it may also make sense to include provisions about where a loved one wants to live, who will provide care, or even how caregivers will be compensated.

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5. Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

The biggest challenge we see is families waiting too long—assuming there’s more time, or not wanting to upset a loved one by bringing up legal topics. But by the time a crisis hits, the best planning options may no longer be available.

Starting the conversation early—before it’s needed—helps preserve dignity, avoid legal red tape, and give everyone peace of mind.

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Final Thoughts:

The “in-between” chapter of life deserves just as much planning and protection as the beginning and end. If you or someone you love is facing aging-related challenges, we’re here to help you create a plan that works in real life—not just on paper.