The key to a full life and having more enjoyable birthdays is love, actually.
I am “shy” about my birthday. I usually don’t like being the center of attention unless it helps someone else or provides value to the general public. That’s why I don’t mind doing videos for Snyder Law, performing for a webinar or public speaking at workshops, or entertaining others with my many voices and characters (ask me about Elmo sometime). Being an applied extrovert in those moments, I love teaching and making people laugh.
It has taken a while and some really painful moments, but I fully believe that I was put on this Earth to have an impact and make a difference by sharing my story and helping others not make the same mistakes that I’ve made or seen made. I just want to leave this world and the people in it a little better off than how I found them. That requires me to shine the spotlight on myself and put a microphone (or megaphone in some cases) in my hand. Otherwise, I am nearly content to join Emerson in a walk in the woods, Schulz at the drawing table, or Salinger in some reclusive writing.
I say nearly because in the past three years I have come to realize how essential it is to have deep and meaningful connections with others. Sure, we all need quiet time alone to decompress, to be wowed by nature, or to just “take it easy,” and “not let the sound of our own wheels drive us crazy” as the Eagles sing (thank you Sr. Peg Dolan).
However, we don’t have to be monks about it. No disrespect to monks, as there are some ones out there – (Brother Mark I’m talking about you), but even monks live in a community. Bottom line is that solitude does not agree with me. I tried that and it didn’t work out so well.
In my view, God didn’t create the wonders of the world to be enjoyed alone. He made Adam and Eve as a duo. So at the beginning there was always more than one. Sure, Adam and Eve had a reproductive purpose, but they can also be viewed as an allegory to the duality of our human nature. There are two sides to most things, including people and their pairings. In my experience, to be successful and truly happy, one simply cannot be alone. Even monks (including the silent ones) aren’t really alone since they live in community.
To be clear, I’m not saying you need a romantic “mate” to be happy in life. Your “Adam” or your “Eve” might be a dear friend, a family member, a colleague, or team member. I am fortunate to have a number of Adams and Eves in my life that provide color, variety, context, and just basically make me a better and happier person. I was reminded of that this month as many of these people reached out to wish me a happy birthday and give me blessings for another great year around the sun. I felt very seen and recognized. I don’t typically need accolades or acknowledgement, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t feel good to get them.
So to all my recluses, loners, and troglodytes (that’s for you Reeves McCune), I encourage you to be open to an Adam or Eve or maybe a couple of them in your life. You don’t have to be outgoing, extraverted, or something you are not to do so. There are plenty of introverts out there waiting on a friend. Go find them.
